i was crying in my car in front of the mcdonalds near my house eating french fries and listening to my sad playlist in the car and a black guy tapped on my window and just gave me life changing advice “its going to be ok lil nigga you can do it” 

(Source: metaphorically)

blein:

sO my friend’s dog died and she lives in new york city and so she had to take it to the vet by the subway and she put the dead dog in the suitcase on the subway and it was a pretty big dog and some dude saw that she was struggling with the suitcase so he asked if she needed help with it and he said do you mind me asking what’s in it and she didnt want to say a dead dog so shE SAID IT WAS A BUNCH OF LAPTOPS SO HE TOOK THE SUITCASE AND RAN AND I JUST 

princesshoff:

i just had a dream that macklemore was at my house and he told me that he’d spent all the money he made from Thrift Shop and couldn’t buy food and i said “aw do you need some snacklemore” and he punched me in the face

angelwingsandplaid:

averypottermormon:

thetremblingofmyhand:

My mom asked me to make cupcakes, so assuming they were for my family, I iced them white with supernatural-themed red demon traps and blood spatter and some of them even had Lucifer written in calligraphy-ish font.

But then I found out that the cupcakes are for a church bake sale.

Do you see how this might be an issue?

you’re my hero

I love you, be my best friend.